Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life grew to become unmanageable—a continuing since my second baby arrived—I seemed to the consultants. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I assumed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to know.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be bored with feeling like this, so I finished combating my very own nature. I finished taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been attempting to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who may comply with a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I may handle my time the identical manner they did?
The shift was delicate however modified the whole lot. I’m unstuck, now not languishing, shifting forward with goal. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m accomplished chasing options that have been by no means meant to work for me.
At the moment, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues accomplished with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of after we work in opposition to who we’re, burnout isn’t a risk. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A observe on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I mentioned I’d do—for myself, for others—in a manner that is smart for my life. I spent two years attempting to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are energetic, and studying to revive that modified the whole lot.
A observe on relaxation.
Totally different sorts of relaxation comply with completely different sorts of productiveness. Realizing what you want means understanding your limits. Attempting to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these alerts. ADHD brains want various kinds of relaxation—emotional, psychological, artistic, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and working towards Pilates. To outsiders, it would seem like I’m all the time going, however this type of motion restores me. Generally, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different occasions, it’s a warning signal. Once I’m mentally drained, TV helps. Once I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified the whole lot.
A observe on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our price by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making somewhat than measuring. If you happen to’re within the thick of that, this publish is probably not what you want at the moment.
Your price isn’t your work. However making—creating, shifting, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. Once I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It grew to become the pure results of discovering my stream. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified the whole lot.
Once I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It grew to become the pure results of discovering my stream. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified the whole lot.
Residing with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for a very good night time’s sleep and day by day bodily motion. I don’t need to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that generally I don’t know if I would like relaxation or momentum. The one technique to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can be onerous to entry whenever you’re overstimulated.
My capacity to entry my most “productive” self is proscribed and never constant. Realizing I’m not all the time going to make the proper selection helps me discover some grace somewhat than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my lack of ability to get issues accomplished imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t do this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Attaining optimum productiveness each day is unrealistic. Once I do yoga, my physique can really feel solely completely different from someday to the following. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels tougher than it needs to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a manner via.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I realized three important rules that assist me get issues accomplished with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my day by day life.
3 Rules I Observe for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I keep easy techniques for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing all the above. The secret is that the processes are straightforward to repeat and the whole lot is simple to entry—nothing is ever too sophisticated. That is paramount.
I exploit the Notes app and Reminders app on my telephone in addition to Notion to avoid wasting concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a totally digital particular person. The mind processes handwriting utterly otherwise than typing. Apart from Notion, the apps on my telephone are VERY easy and simple to make use of.
I exploit the bucket system for digital recordsdata (and bodily objects in my dwelling), one thing I first realized about from KC Davis, writer of How you can Hold Home Whereas Drowning. I exploit digital buckets to prepare recordsdata on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Tasks, Content material Creation, Household, Our Residence, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Shoppers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply conversant in procrastination comprehend it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues accomplished as soon as we really feel the strain of time. Nonetheless, I found that after I procrastinate and rush to get the whole lot accomplished shortly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to follow deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I have to create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play by way of the timer I exploit (extra on this beneath).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy recognized the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so troublesome for folks with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my day by day momentum, I applied a morning routine that’s pared all the way down to the fundamentals and prioritizes probably the most difficult factor first. I rise up, brew espresso, and sit all the way down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me via the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes quite a lot of focus. I really feel wonderful and able to sort out something after I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my telephone. Listed here are the 4 I all the time have at my desk.
1. Keep on Monitor Planner: This planner helps me plan the main points of every week.
2. Timer: That is for working towards the Pomodoro approach and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my telephone for a set period of time. Having a bodily device to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s happening round me.
I additionally flip to some choose assets and folks for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday night time or Monday morning, I mind dump the whole lot into my Keep on Monitor Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I exploit the Eisenhower Matrix to kind what’s pressing, what can wait, what might be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve realized that pushing via this step makes the whole lot else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I am going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphones, decide a job, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My telephone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I would like uninterrupted time. It’s not good—children nonetheless stroll in—but it surely helps everybody be extra aware about what pressing truly means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I have to push via or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do listing will show I “labored onerous sufficient,” I am going to mattress. If wrapping up one final job will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my lack of ability to get issues accomplished imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t do this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I now not take ease with no consideration as a result of I understand how onerous easy issues might be. I used to attend for the right circumstances to put in writing—now I jot issues down in the course of a grocery retailer. I comply with ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is all the time there.
When huge tasks really feel overwhelming (hi there, writing a e-book), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means totally disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing onerous issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s lovely.
We don’t have to boss-babe our manner again to hustle tradition, however possibly we swung too far within the different route. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make decisions at the moment that honor what I care about most?
There’ll all the time be elements of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing via. And in doing so, we convey what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is presently studying how you can play tennis and is perpetually testing the boundaries of her artistic muscle. Observe her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
